Losing a child at any stage is an excruciating, heartbreaking, and indescribable pain and loss. It is one that will be grieved and mourned for the rest of my life. Ever though Heaven and Earth separate us right now, she is a part of our family and will be carried deep inside of my heart until I go home to Heaven. Finding ways to honor Ellie Paige and keep her memory alive is a form of healing for me. There are many beautiful ways you can memorialize/honor your baby or child so that you are reminded of them everyday. FRIENDS/FAMILIES of others who have lost their child, you can share these ideas and use some of them to help them heal.
*These are ideas that I have done or plan to do in the future. Every family grieves differently and these are just ideas and not things you have to do. Just take the pieces/ideas that work for you and leave the rest. This is what we feel we need to do to grieve and heal. For others it may look very different and that is okay. Do what feels right for you and your journey.
Scrapbook/Shutterfly Album- My mom is currently working on putting a scrapbook together for me and Stephen. You can include ultrasounds, any journal entries you may have written during your pregnancy, pictures from the hospital, pictures of you and your spouse together during the pregnancy, pictures of your pregnancy announcements or bump pics, etc. Even though losing her was such a sad and hard experience I know I will want to look back on all the memories I have with her for the rest of my life.
Decorate the Grave- Visiting Ellie Paige’s grave has been a huge part of our healing process. We have tried to visit everyday and plan to continue going a few times a week. I find peace when I visit her and I enjoy making her Grave special for her. Maybe consider decorating your babies grave for special occasions (Easter, Christmas, 4th of July, Birthday, Thanksgiving, etc.). We are still waiting on Ellie Paige’s tombstone but we currently have flowers on her grave with an angel statue, butterflies, and a “Happy Easter” sign. We are planning to paint rocks and write things on them to also put around her headstone. 
Balloon Release- This isn’t one we have done yet but plan to do it in the future. Release a balloon or many balloons on your baby’s due date or on their birthday to heaven. I plan to write a letter or bible verses on the balloon and send it to Heaven. *I plan to use biodegradable balloons because they are safer for the environment and animals.
Molly Bears- There is an amazing non-profit called Molly Bears. This organization makes bears that weigh exactly what your baby weighed. They take orders at the beginning of every month. We will be ordering our bear on April 1st and it will weigh exactly 15 ounces when we receive it. Molly Bears
Memorial Jewelry- There are so many pieces of jewelry that you can get (or maybe friends/family have given to you) that you can wear for your baby. Pinterest and Etsy have many ideas to help you get started. Personally, I plan to get various pieces of jewelry in Ellie Paige’s birthstone. I have also associated butterflies with my daughter. I ordered a small, petite rose gold butterfly necklace to wear daily to remind me of her. I also want to have her name engraved on a plated necklace to wear everyday.
Shadowboxes- My mom and me made the shadow box shown with special items from Ellie Paige’s life: The gown and knitted hat she wore in the hospital, her blanket we held her in from the hospital, her birth card and hospital band, her tiny footprints, her name ribbon from her casket spray, dried flowers from her funeral, and a beautiful poem. We have her shadow box hung where I see it constantly. It brings a smile to my face knowing there is still pieces of her here with me.
Dried Flowers- There are so many different things you can do with dried flowers. I collected so many flowers from Ellie Paige’s funeral. Some of them I have dried out on my own. I have a small bouquet of white roses that stay in our bedroom. I put some of the flowers in her shadowbox and I have more that I will press into a flat frame. I sent off flowers to a company that makes candles using the flowers and want to send off more to have the flowers made into jewelry. I also have a clear Christmas ornament that I will fill with flowers from her funeral. We plan to save any future arrangements that we get for dates such as her due date, Christmas arrangement, etc.
Memorial Tree or Garden- We made a memorial garden in our backyard. It’s a place that reminds me of Ellie Paige every time I go outside. We had a sign made with her name and had friends/family members give money for plants or bring plants to add. I cannot wait to watch it grow over the years. We are still adding things like bird houses, wind chimes, statues, etc. that people have given to us. Our garden is quickly expanding and it makes me so happy!
Display Their Name- Displaying Ellie Paige’s name makes me feel like she is not forgotten (which she never will be) and that she is apart of our family everyday. Her name is up in a wall gallery we made for her, I have an elephant with her name and birth information that I sleep with everynight (pictured below), and I have ordered the most beautiful print where they take her actual footprints and make them into a butterfly with her name. You can find this by clicking here Butterfly footprints
Get a Tattoo- This is one some people may be against and that is okay. I plan to get a tattoo in the upcoming months. I will be getting a butterfly, because that is what I associate with my daughter. You can also get their hand/foot prints, birthdate, or name.
Help Others & Give Back- This one is why I started this blog. Grief can be a very lonely thing and if I am not careful, it can suck me into a hole that will be hard to get out of. There’s a reason God has allowed you to experience this grief and He wants you to use your pain to bring Him glory and to help other people. Accepting that there is purpose in your pain can bring peace to your life and helping others will inevitably bring healing.
A good place to start is by reaching out to other families in the same situation as you. Just having someone to talk and relate to can bring so much healing. There are many private facebook groups that I have become apart of that have been such a blessing. There are also other ways to get involved: helping your local hospital, starting a support group, writing a blog, or volunteering. The blog is a way I feel I Can help others but I also have other ideas I am currently working on. I am learning to crochet so I can donate hats and blankets to local hospitals that are the size of babies born pre-term. I also want to start a fundraiser in the near future to earn money for a cuddle cot. I promise you that the best way to honor your baby’s life, and to help you in your own healing journey, will be to help other people. I want to do all of these things to make Ellie Paige proud.
Loving Ellie Paige 